Maria enrolled in Between Friends’ Counseling and Support Services Program in 2017. At that time, she was experiencing isolation, threats, intimidation as well as physical, sexual, verbal, emotional, and financial abuse at the hands of her intimate partner. After extreme physical and emotional incidents, she was afraid to call the police because of her partner’s unpredictable retaliation tactics. Her partner also threatened her to kill her along with her children and consistently called her names in front of her children.
Upon enrollment in Between Friends services, Maria began participating in individual counseling and support groups. Throughout her sessions, she focused on how the dynamics of domestic violence have affected her and her four children’s lives, identifying and processing experiences of trauma, developing and discussing coping skills and strategies to give her a sense of security, wholeness and empowerment. In addition, she received support in preparation for her U Visa affidavit application for her and her older daughter.
Maria learned to identify several aspects of abuse, recognized a pattern of abuse in her life, and reflected on the cycle of domestic violence. In sharing her experience of survival, Maria said:
“Since receiving counseling services from [my Between Friends counselor], I have learned to be strong and not feed my abusive partner’s power with my fear. I learned to identify his abuse tactics, preventing him from continuing the cycle of domestic violence I was living in. I learned to exercise my rights as a woman, a mother of four children, a partner–to invoke my rights under the domestic violence law. Since that moment, I have felt empowered and no longer allow the abuse I experienced to continue.
I want to share a message for those who are victims of domestic violence: The person who abuses you feeds on your fear. With your fear they dominate you and your relationship becomes unequal and submissive. So much abuse, humiliation and critiques from your partner will make you develop a negative, devalued, and deformed perception of yourself. Seek help so that your life may change and find reasons to move forward.”
Maria is currently finishing her Associates in Accounting at Oakton College and is president of the student-led club Diverse D.U.R.A. Outreach. Her club works to help and support DACA, Undocumented, Refugee, and Asylum-Seeking (D.U.R.A.) students at Oakton by discussing their needs and exploring what resources available.